God established a “shalom” through the ministry of His Son Jesus Christ, that will last for the lifetime of Jesus Christ. Commonly translated as “peace” and used as both a greeting and farewell, shalom has rich meaning in Hebrew. “Peace” is an accurate translation of the term. According to Strong’s Exhaustive Concordance, shalom means “completeness, soundness, welfare, peace.” God the Father intends to bring about this “shalom” on the earth when His Son reign over the Kingdom given by the His Father. Now, the Apostle Paul tells us that there is a present, real display of this shalom in individual, families, local churches of those people who have been redeemed, adopted, and called together as His Church.

In our passage written by Paul, he gives wisdom of instruction for wives and husbands for marriages that brings glory to God by displaying this shalom from God in the marriage relationship.

Then we notice that Paul turns to the family matters and he gives instruction of wisdom for Children and Parents so that they might the members of the family exist together giving glory to God by displaying shalom in the Christian household relationship.

In our text study, Paul focuses on the wisdom of God for Children. We are all become a child sometime in our lives so it is relevant to us. But it is more applicable and relevant to all the children still living with their parents at home. This passage will remind us that God truly cares for Children, and God has an important role to do in His plan for the Church.

What advice would you give if you had a one limited advice to teach to all the young people in this congregation between the ages of 8 years old to 20 years old. What is that one advice?

Would that one instruction you have to give them is about purity? Is it about hard work? Is it about striving to have a good education? Is it about warning against temptations and trials they would encounter?

What is that one piece of advice you could only give to a group of young people in your church?

That is exactly what God is doing by using Paul in our text in giving wisdom and instruction to the Children. This is one of two location in all the New Testament where God directly speaks to Children. Therefore, the only one thing God chose to say to the young people is of greatest and best advice God can give.

Although God have lot of things He could said to the Children, what is the one utmost instruction He gave to the young people? God said “Children, honor and obey your parents.”

People develop many ideas regarding this said responsibility. But, God instruction is simply, “Obey and honor your parents.”

Now, what is in the mind of God when God instructed us to obey our parents or to honor our fathers and mothers.

I – THE PEOPLE RECEPIENT WHO WILL PRACTICE THE MESSAGE – v.1 (Who is being addressed)

Ephesians 6:1 “Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right."

A. All Believing children of all ages (the term "children")

The word “Children” it generally includes small children and older children living at home, children living outside of the home, and children who were themselves parents.

1. Bible talks about small or little children.

Jesus said “Let the little children to come to me.”

Matthew 19:14 “But Jesus said, Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven.”

Mark 10:14 “But when Jesus saw it, he was much displeased, and said unto them, Suffer the little children to come unto me, and forbid them not: for of such is the kingdom of God.”

Luke 18:16 “But Jesus called them unto him, and said, Suffer little children to come unto me, and forbid them not: for of such is the kingdom of God.”

2. Bible talks about older children living at home.

According to the Old Testament law, the older children were accountable to a severe death penalty for being disobedient and disrespectful. The sins committed by these older children are typically sin committed by young adult or older people.

Deuteronomy 21:18-21 “If a man have a stubborn and rebellious son, which will not obey the voice of his father, or the voice of his mother, and that, when they have chastened him, will not hearken unto them: ¹⁹Then shall his father and his mother lay hold on him, and bring him out unto the elders of his city, and unto the gate of his place; ²⁰And they shall say unto the elders of his city, This our son is stubborn and rebellious, he will not obey our voice; he is a glutton, and a drunkard. ²¹And all the men of his city shall stone him with stones, that he die: so shalt thou put evil away from among you; and all Israel shall hear, and fear.”

3. Bible talks about adult children.

Pharisees failed to honor their parents so Jesus rebuked them because the Pharisees used the law to avoid using their resources in order to care for the legitimate needs of their parents.

Matthew 15:4 “For God commanded, saying, Honour thy father and mother: and, He that curseth father or mother, let him die the death.”

Mark 7:10 “For Moses said, Honour thy father and thy mother; and, Whoso curseth father or mother, let him die the death:”

So, Paul is giving this wisdom of instruction to all of us. Paul is teaching us of our responsibility to obey our parents when we live in their home and also teaching us of our responsibility to honor our parents when we are out from under the authority of parents. This means when we leave the home and established our own lives and homes, our obligation to obey specific instructions may change but our responsibility to honor and respect our parents continues for lifetime. To honor and respect our parents are never revoked nor void.

B. All Believing children living at home (the term “in the Lord”)

This is specifically directed primarily to those children who are in enough age and know that is right to hear with understanding and still living at home under the authority of their parents.

Paul here used the phrase “in the Lord” which refers to the spiritual identity and condition of children. The addressee of Paul’s instruction was obviously referring to those children who can understand and have willingness to obey the instruction of Paul. This letter is addressing these believing children independently from their parents as Paul writes to these children who are in the Lord.

God himself personally speaks to children and hopingly expecting these children are old enough to understand God’s word and to respond with willing obedience. God knows that these believing children can understand so God advise them directly to obey the instruction of God. Indeed, God loves and cares children, talks to children, that is why God expects children will respond from the instruction to obey and honor their parents.

Although these children were old enough to understand and obey God as God expects, however these children are still young enough living under the training of the father at home. The word Obey, in Greek is [hupakouete (G5219)] - stronger than as to wives "submitting," or 'being subject' (Ephesians 5:21 “Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God.”). Obedience is unreasoning and implicit; submission is the willing subjection of an inferior in point of order to a person having a right to command. The word Paul used “obey” in verse 1 means “to hear under” which refers to someone who was listening with serious intention to obey the person who has in authority over him.

Again, the words “In the Lord” join with "obey." Both parents and children being Christians, "in the Lord" expresses the element in which the obedience has place, and the motive to it. In Colossians 3:20 "Children, obey your parents in all things." The words "In the Lord" suggests the limitation of the obedience required (Acts 5:29 “Then Peter and the other apostles answered and said, We ought to obey God rather than men.”

II – THE POINT OF COMMAND IN PRACTICING THE MESSAGE – v.1-2 (What is expected)

Children are expected to obey their parents.

God expects children to submit to God’s authorities, the same is true God expects parents and everyone to be willing and heartily submit to the authorities of God.

Ephesians 5:21 “Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God.”

Submission to God’s authorities is not optional but it is a command.

Submission to God’s authorities must be consistent. (a daily act).

The same level of honor and obedience God expects every parent to submit to God because of their relationship to God, God expects of children to submit to their parents.

Romans 6:17 “But God be thanked, that ye were the servants of sin, but ye have obeyed from the heart that form of doctrine which was delivered you.”

Romans 15:18 “For I will not dare to speak of any of those things which Christ hath not wrought by me, to make the Gentiles obedient, by word and deed,”

Romans 16:19 “For your obedience is come abroad unto all men. I am glad therefore on your behalf: but yet I would have you wise unto that which is good, and simple concerning evil.”

Philippians 2:12 “Wherefore, my beloved, as ye have always obeyed, not as in my presence only, but now much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling.”

II Thessalonians 3:4 “And we have confidence in the Lord touching you, that ye both do and will do the things which we command you.”

Children are to obey their parents the same command as their parents are to wholeheartedly and willingly obey God and joyfully honor God. In other words, parents must show as the model of the kind of obedience and honor that God wants from their children. Parents are to serve as good example of giving honor and obedience to God.

Two responsibilities of Children:

A. Actions of Children to obey their Parents – v.1

Ephesians 6:1 “Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right.”

The word “obey” [hupakouete (G5219)] from hupo and akouo; that is “to hear under.” That means to listen attentively; by implication, to heed or conform to a command or authority, it has the idea of a subordinate listening to the voice of someone who is over him.

The word “hear” or “hearken” that is often used in the Bible is speaks of the type of listening that results in obedience. The listening leads to action.

Three aspects of hearing that leads to obedient action:

1. The Hearer’s Attentiveness

This shows the worth of a person by focusing attentively to the words of the one speaking.

James 1:19 “Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath:”

The indication how the children respect their parents is seen the way they listened to their parents’ instruction. Are you listening to your parents with all your heart or half of your heart? Did you find yourself busy doing other things while your parents speaking to you with eagerness? Do you desire to give your full attention when your parents speaking to you as an indication that you respect their words? Attentiveness is a sign or respect.

2. The Hearer’s Responsiveness

This shows how a person knows, accepts, and joyfully doing what God and others are expecting from a person who listened.

Now, the genuine obedience and hearing to the voice of the parent’s giving instruction is more than just paying attention when the parent speaks. Listening is not just literal listening but it means acting to what the parents had said. What our text wants to drive out is the children’s acting after listening to what the parents says. Of course, Paul does not say children is only doing what the parents say but Paul has in mind that children really committing to understanding and fully doing exactly what their parents actually want even when the words of the parents do not come out in a way that it is very clear and detailed manner, leaving no room for confusion or doubt. The children respond with understanding.

3. The Hearer’s Submissiveness

This shows children were doing what, how and when they should do the instruction of their parents. Children must have the right attitude and right spirit toward parental authority asking them what they should do, when they should do it and how they should do it.

Samuel said in, I Samuel 15:22 “And Samuel said, Hath the Lord as great delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices, as in obeying the voice of the Lord? Behold, to obey is better than sacrifice, and to hearken than the fat of rams.”

Obedience starts with our actions but obedience involves our heart. That will leads us to our next point.

B. Attitudes of Children to honor their parents – v.2

Ephesians 6:2 “Honour thy father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise;”

The term “Honor” in Greek “tima” from “timios”, means to prize or assign proper value to something or someone. To fix a valuation upon by implication to revere or to revere or to treat with high regard or as valuable. The word “Honor” is a present imperative Active which means consistent command.

The word “Honour” was used by some Apostles.

Peter used the term honor in exhorting believers to adopt a particular posture toward the emperor (I Peter 2:17).

I Peter 2:17 “Honour all men. Love the brotherhood. Fear God. Honour the king.”

John used the term honor in describing believers attitude to Jesus in comparison to Jesus attitude toward His Father (John 5:23).

John 5:23 “That all men should honour the Son, even as they honour the Father. He that honoureth not the Son honoureth not the Father which hath sent him.”

No one can obey someone without honoring or respect that someone, however they cannot respect or honor sincerely while disregarding or disobeying their words of instruction.

Honoring parents motivates children to obey parents. Honor refers to the internal heart attitude that accompany our external obedience. The heart attitude of children to honor parents is very important. If the children’s heart is right, they would obey truly their parents. It is a matter of children’s heart attitude.

When the ages of children is between 1 to 7 or 8 years old, who is very young, their attention of duty is to obey their parents by abiding, following and complying the parents instruction. But the focus of the children shifted to the attitude that these children need to cultivate toward his parents when they grew up in old age and matures as a young adult. This explains that their obedience is motivated by their desire to honor their parents but it started in training these young children at the very young age (Provers 22:6 “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.”)

Children should avoid playing with one parent but against the other parents. That is a problem. Honoring our parents is directed to both our father and our mother. Not just honoring one of your parents then dishonoring one of your parents.

Two primary things in honoring Parents:

1. The Young children respecting their Parents

As a child in your parent home, you have to know your parents’ God-given role in your life and discern your parents’ desires for your good.

As a child in the home of your parent you should have a high regard for your parents and count them as important and valuable people in your life and you need that intense desire to find and follow your parents advices and wisdom as you face many challenges in your path of life.

Some children addressed their parents with the words “yeah”; “Hey”; “Sssst”;

Some children referred their parents to other people saying “my old man; my old woman”; “my importunate parents”; “my stubborn Mom or Dad.”

Some children come home without any sign or recognition toward their parents and say nothing, notice nothing but just silently going directly to the kitchen or to their rooms.

Questions for children: What is your motive or why you seek out their counsel? Are you going to obey their advice or you just get the ideas but it is your own decision important to you? Is it important for you to ask advice or wisdom from your parent’s guidance about your friends? Are you interested to hear the parents counsel about the biblical guidelines on love, courtship and marriage? Is your parents’ perception of your spiritual condition matters for you? Are you interested to know your parent’s views about what you should do in your life?

2. The children caring for their old age Parents

Jesus strongly condemned the group of religious leaders who were looking holes in the law of Moses in order they could excuse themselves and avoid giving their resources to their parents.

In answer to the Pharisees’ question, Jesus told them that they had rejected the commandment of God in order to keep their own tradition (Mark 7:6-9 “He answered and said unto them, Well hath Esaias prophesied of you hypocrites, as it is written, This people honoureth me with their lips, but their heart is far from me. ⁷Howbeit in vain do they worship me, teaching for doctrines the commandments of men. ⁸For laying aside the commandment of God, ye hold the tradition of men, as the washing of pots and cups: and many other such like things ye do. ⁹And he said unto them, Full well ye reject the commandment of God, that ye may keep your own tradition.”). Jesus gives the proof of their corruption of the Law by citing their use of “Corban.” Moses had instructed God’s people to “honor their father and mother” (Mark 7:10 “For Moses said, Honour thy father and thy mother; and, Whoso curseth father or mother, let him die the death: “ ) (Exodus 20:12 “Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be prolonged in the land which the Lord your God gives you. “), but the Pharisees negated that command by teaching that they could give money to the temple in lieu of helping their parents in need (Mark 7:11 “But ye say, If a man shall say to his father or mother, It is Corban, that is to say, a gift, by whatsoever thou mightest be profited by me; he shall be free.”). Whatever money might have been used to provide for aging parents could be dedicated to the temple treasury instead. Saying, “It is Corban” would exempt a person from his responsibility to his parents. In other words, the Pharisees took a legitimate Corban offering and used it in an illegitimate and devious way to defraud their parents (and enrich themselves) (Mark 7:12 “And ye suffer him no more to do ought for his father or his mother;”). Thus, the Law of God was nullified (Mark 7:13 “Making the word of God of none effect through your tradition, which ye have delivered: and many such like things do ye.”).

III – THE PERIOD OF TIME IN PRACTICING THE MESSAGE (When it is expected) – Colossians 3:20

Colossians 3:20 “Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord.”

A. Children obeying Parents in all things – Colossians 3:20 “obey your parents in all things”

Notice the words “in all things” it means in everything.

Children have to obey Parents in everything, unless the Parents are asking the children to do something that is sinful, or to do something violation of the law of God or contrary to the Bible, or to disobey the commandment of God or to commit something God had prohibited.

God expects Children to obey the biblical authority God has delegated to Parents over the children that was given by God to Parents for a specific period of time.

Answer this question: Are there ever moment of times that the children should disregard a parent?

Children only have a biblical warrant to do regarding the clear mandate of God, that is Christian must obey God rather than men (Acts 5:29),

Acts 5:29 “Then Peter and the other apostles answered and said, We ought to obey God rather than men.”

Children obeying God rather than men, in His will, in His Words, in His ways. Obey your Parents while you are submitted in all other areas, and not in some areas only.

If the Children are going to obey Parents only after the children appealed to Parents, it must be done with respect and in appropriate ways.

In case a Parent ask something from the children to break a law or to violate a bible-based on moral and ethical command, any children are encouraged to appeal to their parents on a bible basis and then the children have to obey God with reverence and careful obedience.

If the Parents have a godly children who wants to obey their parents but have appeal to their parents about something that is not biblically wrong or does not contrary to the bible, the parents therefore need to consider the instruction of God in the Bible that parents should not provoke children unto wrath (Ephesians 6:4 “And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.”).

It is a clear that God is instructing the Fathers should not provoke their children to anger, but should bring their children up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. In other words, God did not give power and parental authority over their children in order the parents could lord it over their children. But according to this verse Ephesians 6:4, God give the power and authority to their children to nurture them, protect them and develop their children to a point that their children become as bearers of the image of Christ whom God has gifted and called Children to serve Him.

Parents should aim to lead their children with love and strongly desire to train their children to obey and love things that God loves and to hate things that God hates.

When your children know what God is commanding them to do and you refuse to motivate or instruct your children to do those commandments of God and at the same time your children’s view or demands which they are asking you about is unbiblical, are you willing to pray in using your authority over your children so that your children may conform to the will of God as opposed to motivating your children to do your own will as parents? Are you making a situation where your children can entreat and appeal before you about something you instructed them to do and not something which unscriptural?

B. Children obeying Parents at all times – Ephesians 6:2 “Honour thy father and mother”

The goal to parenting is to shape up and train the next generation of godly believers who will commit themselves in serving the Lord and one day will become themselves parents who honor God.

In other words, every young people, will come a time, one day is no longer under the direct parental authority.

We do not know exactly because the Bible is no clear when the children will no longer under parental authority, however the bible pattern indicates that it happens when either a child is already married or when that child reached a certain age or are old enough and becoming responsible to make their living so these children are no longer living with their parents at home.

There is a caution: That some people teach that a woman who is not married, she needs to live at home under parental authority. This can not be proven in the Bible. Usually, when a woman goes off to college and graduated then prepared for a plan in her life, not necessarily planning for marriage, this woman is at this stage of being under the parental authority and living at home with her parent.

There is an Evidence: That woman who is unmarried needs to remain at home and not to do anything to gain profitable living is unscriptural. In the Book of Acts, there was a business woman named Lydia who was a seller of purple who was used by God to help Paul in establishing the Church at Philippi. There are other women whose names were Eudias and Syntache were described a “fellow laborer” in the Gospel. The mentality that woman is no need to work because they are just a woman and do not need to do anything in a profitable way is nowhere in the Bible.

When a young people reach this stage of life working in a profitable way and not living at home with their parents and no longer under the direct authority of Parent, they still have the life-long responsibility to honor and reverence their parents. Those children who are old enough and have already have a job occupation and some manage to handle their own business, although they are no longer under the biblical mandate to follow the instruction of their parents on day-to-day matters in their own lives as adults living on their own way of life and an individual person responsible to God, they still have the life-long responsibility to honor and reverence their parents.

Now, as they are in a stage of fully responsible adults, they are under the biblical warrant to honor and respect their parents.

1. Samuel when he was a young boy, he shows obedience to both his parents, and displays obedience to Eli the high priest when Samuel entrusted to the care of Eli (I Samuel 2:11, 18-21, 26; I Samuel 3:1-19).

I Samuel 2:11, 18-21, 26 “And Elkanah went to Ramah to his house. And the child did minister unto the Lord before Eli the priest. ¹⁸But Samuel ministered before the Lord, being a child, girded with a linen ephod. ¹⁹Moreover his mother made him a little coat, and brought it to him from year to year, when she came up with her husband to offer the yearly sacrifice. ²⁰And Eli blessed Elkanah and his wife, and said, The Lord give thee seed of this woman for the loan which is lent to the Lord. And they went unto their own home. ²¹And the Lord visited Hannah, so that she conceived, and bare three sons and two daughters. And the child Samuel grew before the Lord. ²⁶And the child Samuel grew on, and was in favour both with the Lord, and also with men.”

I Samuel 3:1-19 “And the child Samuel ministered unto the Lord before Eli. And the word of the Lord was precious in those days; there was no open vision. ²And it came to pass at that time, when Eli was laid down in his place, and his eyes began to wax dim, that he could not see; ³And ere the lamp of God went out in the temple of the Lord, where the ark of God was, and Samuel was laid down to sleep; ⁴That the Lord called Samuel: and he answered, Here am I. ⁵And he ran unto Eli, and said, Here am I; for thou calledst me. And he said, I called not; lie down again. And he went and lay down. ⁶And the Lord called yet again, Samuel. And Samuel arose and went to Eli, and said, Here am I; for thou didst call me. And he answered, I called not, my son; lie down again. ⁷Now Samuel did not yet know the Lord, neither was the word of the Lord yet revealed unto him. ⁸And the Lord called Samuel again the third time. And he arose and went to Eli, and said, Here am I; for thou didst call me. And Eli perceived that the Lord had called the child. ⁹Therefore Eli said unto Samuel, Go, lie down: and it shall be, if he call thee, that thou shalt say, Speak, Lord; for thy servant heareth. So Samuel went and lay down in his place. ¹⁰And the Lord came, and stood, and called as at other times, Samuel, Samuel. Then Samuel answered, Speak; for thy servant heareth. ¹¹And the Lord said to Samuel, Behold, I will do a thing in Israel, at which both the ears of every one that heareth it shall tingle. ¹²In that day I will perform against Eli all things which I have spoken concerning his house: when I begin, I will also make an end. ¹³For I have told him that I will judge his house for ever for the iniquity which he knoweth; because his sons made themselves vile, and he restrained them not. ¹⁴And therefore I have sworn unto the house of Eli, that the iniquity of Eli's house shall not be purged with sacrifice nor offering for ever. ¹⁵And Samuel lay until the morning, and opened the doors of the house of the Lord. And Samuel feared to shew Eli the vision. ¹⁶Then Eli called Samuel, and said, Samuel, my son. And he answered, Here am I. ¹⁷And he said, What is the thing that the Lord hath said unto thee? I pray thee hide it not from me: God do so to thee, and more also, if thou hide any thing from me of all the things that he said unto thee. ¹⁸And Samuel told him every whit, and hid nothing from him. And he said, It is the Lord: let him do what seemeth him good. ¹⁹And Samuel grew, and the Lord was with him, and did let none of his words fall to the ground.”

2. Jesus as a young boy, He shows obedience, by humble and submissive to His parents (Luke 2:51).

Luke 2:51 “And he went down with them, and came to Nazareth, and was subject unto them: but his mother kept all these sayings in her heart.”

3. Sons of Eli, in their youth and early adulthood disobeyed their father Eli, the high priest (I Samuel 2:12-17).

I Samuel 2:12-17 “

The Sons of Eli as an adult priest serving under the authority of Eli, shows disrespect and disregarded their father Eli the priest, but they respected and followed all other priests that are in the same authority with their father (I Samuel 2:22-25; 27-36).

I Samuel 2:22-25; 27-36 “Now Eli was very old, and heard all that his sons did unto all Israel; and how they lay with the women that assembled at the door of the tabernacle of the congregation. ²³And he said unto them, Why do ye such things? for I hear of your evil dealings by all this people. ²⁴Nay, my sons; for it is no good report that I hear: ye make the Lord's people to transgress. ²⁵If one man sin against another, the judge shall judge him: but if a man sin against the Lord, who shall intreat for him? Notwithstanding they hearkened not unto the voice of their father, because the Lord would slay them.²⁷And there came a man of God unto Eli, and said unto him, Thus saith the Lord, Did I plainly appear unto the house of thy father, when they were in Egypt in Pharaoh's house? ²⁸And did I choose him out of all the tribes of Israel to be my priest, to offer upon mine altar, to burn incense, to wear an ephod before me? and did I give unto the house of thy father all the offerings made by fire of the children of Israel? ²⁹Wherefore kick ye at my sacrifice and at mine offering, which I have commanded in my habitation; and honourest thy sons above me, to make yourselves fat with the chiefest of all the offerings of Israel my people? ³⁰Wherefore the Lord God of Israel saith, I said indeed that thy house, and the house of thy father, should walk before me for ever: but now the Lord saith, Be it far from me; for them that honour me I will honour, and they that despise me shall be lightly esteemed. ³¹Behold, the days come, that I will cut off thine arm, and the arm of thy father's house, that there shall not be an old man in thine house.” ³²And thou shalt see an enemy in my habitation, in all the wealth which God shall give Israel: and there shall not be an old man in thine house for ever. ³³And the man of thine, whom I shall not cut off from mine altar, shall be to consume thine eyes, and to grieve thine heart: and all the increase of thine house shall die in the flower of their age. ³⁴And this shall be a sign unto thee, that shall come upon thy two sons, on Hophni and Phinehas; in one day they shall die both of them. ³⁵And I will raise me up a faithful priest, that shall do according to that which is in mine heart and in my mind: and I will build him a sure house; and he shall walk before mine anointed for ever. ³⁶And it shall come to pass, that every one that is left in thine house shall come and crouch to him for a piece of silver and a morsel of bread, and shall say, Put me, I pray thee, into one of the priests' offices, that I may eat a piece of bread. “

III – THE PATTERN IN PRACTICING THE MESSAGE (How it is expected) – Ephesians 6:1

Ephesians 6:1 “Children, obey your parents in the Lord”

The words “in the Lord” in verse 1 does not speak about kind of parent that a child is obligated to obey. Therefore, Paul is not saying here that children are to obey parents who are believers in the Lord Jesus Christ. But rather Paul is speaking not to parents but to children who are believers, in homes of Christian family and Paul is instructing the children to obey the Lord. When Children obeyed the parents, they obeyed the pattern in the Lord.

Example: Children who are believers were to obey the Lord by obeying parents, just like the wives were to obey the Lord by obeying their husbands (Ephesians 5:22). When Christian Children disobeyed the Lord by disobeying parents just like the wives disobeyed the Lord by disobeying their husbands, they do not follow the pattern in the Lord

Ephesians 5:22 “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.”

In context, Paul addresses children who are image bearers, who are believers that had the Holy Spirit who would enlighten and enable these children to show obedience as God wanted them to be. Children shows the pattern of the image of God when they obey their parents in the Lord as the wives show the pattern of the image of God whey they submit to their husband in the Lord.

V – THE PROPER REASON IN PRACTICING THE MESSAGE (Why it is expected)

Why should a Christian child must obey his parents wholeheartedly while he lives in their home and what is the very reason why believers’ children show life-long respect to his mother and father?

Reasons why Christian Children should obey their Parents:

A. Because Obedience to Parents is right in the sight of God

Ephesians 6:1 “Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right.

The term “right” has an idea that is “just” or appropriate and fitting or proper in the eyes of God.

God designed human relationship to work right, fitting in God’s sight, this is recognized and acknowledge in the world wide.

The culture in every country how terrified occurred in their community, society when children are disobedient to parents.

Paul writes and warned Timothy what would happen in the society on the last days, and Paul mentioned the sign of the last days is marked by children who were disobedient and disrespectful to parents (II Timothy 3:2; Romans 1:30).

II Timothy 3:2 “disobedient to parents”

Romans 1:30 “disobedient to parents,”

ILLUSTRATION: When a child disobeys, disrespects, or hits, injures, strikes a parent, and expectedly there is terrible, horrible, dreadful happened. Even the unbelievers who are not saved and know not the Lord Jesus as Savior recoil once they got a news, or witnessed or heard a child or young people act violently or say bad words toward their parents.

B. Because Obedience to Parents is first biblical command – v.2

Ephesians 6:1-2- “Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. ²Honour thy father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise”

Basically, this first commandment to obey and honor parents not only included in the 10 commandments, but God also repeated that commands seven times in the New Testament (Matthew 15:4; Matthew 19:9; Mark 7:10; Mark 10:19; Luke 18:20; Ephesians 6:1; Colossians 3:20)

Matthew 15:4 “For God commanded, saying, Honour thy father and mother: and, He that curseth father or mother, let him die the death.”

Matthew 19:9 “And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.”

Mark 7:10 “For Moses said, Honour thy father and thy mother; and, Whoso curseth father or mother, let him die the death:”

Mark 10:19 “Thou knowest the commandments, Do not commit adultery, Do not kill, Do not steal, Do not bear false witness, Defraud not, Honour thy father and mother.”

Luke 18:20 “Thou knowest the commandments, Do not commit adultery, Do not kill, Do not steal, Do not bear false witness, Honour thy father and thy mother.”

Ephesians 6:1 “Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right.”

Colossians 3:20 “Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord.”

It is impossible for anyone to please God if we disregard and disobeyed this commandment to obey and honor parents,

God generally mandated all children to obey and honor their parents including the unsaved, unbeliever, but particularly God commanded His own children, the saved, the believers because God has a perfect plan and bestowed the parents a unique role in this God’s created universe.

Parents unique Role and authority given by God:

1. God has delegated some of God’s own authority to the Parents who are image bearer.

God has granted Parents the authority to instruct, permit, and restrict specific image-bearers for a specific time frame in their lives.

2. God has granted to the Parents who are image bearer the privilege of making other image-bearers.

No other moral creature created by God in this earth that has been given this amazing, unique privilege. Parents are the only other moral creatures granted by God to have the ability to do what God does and that is to make image-bearers.

3. God has given the Parents a responsibility regarding their own children.

Parents should provide for their children, should protect their children, and should prepare and equip their children for real challenges of life, should point their children to a proper relationship with God, should point their children to a life of acceptable worship and service to God.

This is the reason why God given parental authority is unique. This is reason why Parents are expected to use that authority for. The purpose of Parents is not to get their own way of life or to make their life easier. But God gave parents this unique authority in order for parents to serve their children and nurture their children and encourage their children to become men and women who worship and serve God in spirit and truth.

C. Because Obedience to Parents is Beneficial – Exodus 20:12; Deuteronomy 5:16

Exodus 20:12 “Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee.”

Deuteronomy 5:16 “Honour thy father and thy mother, as the Lord thy God hath commanded thee; that thy days may be prolonged, and that it may go well with thee, in the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee.”

Obedience is beneficial because God has a promise.

Beneficial promise for those obedient children to Parents:

1. Longer Days – v. 3

Ephesians 6:3 “That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth.”

Obedience and honoring Parents in the Lord is God’s command with a promise to live long days.

The average lifespan of children in the day of Apostle Paul was low and children lived to be ten years of age, and that is shockingly less than 50% of children living on that day. Uncommon for parents in society of Roman or Greek to have more than momentary grief or to join in prolonged mourning over the death of a child, because the loss of children in a family was so common on the day.

2. Prosperous Days – v.3

Ephesians 6:3- “That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth.”

Obedience and honoring Parents in the Lord is God’s command with a promise to live long days.

The child who determines to obey and honor Parents by the enlightenment and enablement of the Holy Spirit will have the protection and blessing of God promises upon that child.

God considers supremely, and greatest importance about the obedience and honor of Children to Parents.

God considers the most dangerous, perilous, gravest, and serious of penalties in the Old Testament to adult children who are old enough and persistently, determined to disobeyed the commandment of God to honor their parents, as they cursed their parents, or struck their parents as they disregard them without respect. Deuteronomy 21:18-21 “If a man have a stubborn and rebellious son, which will not obey the voice of his father, or the voice of his mother, and that, when they have chastened him, will not hearken unto them: ¹⁹Then shall his father and his mother lay hold on him, and bring him out unto the elders of his city, and unto the gate of his place; ²⁰And they shall say unto the elders of his city, This our son is stubborn and rebellious, he will not obey our voice; he is a glutton, and a drunkard. ²¹And all the men of his city shall stone him with stones, that he die: so shalt thou put evil away from among you; and all Israel shall hear, and fear.”

We asked why it was so extremely serious penalty imposed to children who disobey or dishonor parents which in fact at one time or another every one of us has been tempted to do even we if we violate that command to obey the parents only in our hearts?

The answer is because if we do not learn to submit and respect the legitimate earthly authorities like of Parents at home or of Pastors in the local church, or President of our nation, who were appointed and ordained earthly authorities over us by all knowing wise God, thus will lead us to never learn to submit to the highest authority of God.

This reality happened in a person’s life. Any children who continually and remain to be disobedient and disrespectful to their father and mother, rarely ended up obeying God in some other areas of their Christian life. These children live out of God’ will, disobedient to the Word of God, doing his own way of life not in God’s way. This is extremely important to the life of a child because of what people everywhere fully learn and personally experience in their lives, so they knew what loneliness, dreadfulness, and miserableness would it results.

During Paul’s day as well as in our own time, people filled and complete with knowledge that children should obey, honor and care their parents. People everywhere instinctively know that adult children who are old enough should respect and care for their parents. And these people draw back when they see shocking, horrific violations in respecting and caring their parents.

During Paul’s day as well as in our own time, what people completely knew was not practiced. As we have read in the book of Romans, Paul wrote to the Romans as he described pagan culture as one that is completely filled with children who flagrantly, blatantly disregarded, dishonored, and disobeyed their parents.

Paul in Romans, Romans 1:30 “disobedient to parents”

Paul in Ephesus about the last days, II Timothy 3:2 “disobedient to parents”

Of course, this issue of disregarding, disobedience, and dishonoring parents was not limited to people raised in a pagan, gentile culture. God’s own people had become experts at dishonoring and in caring not their parents by refusing to share and use their resources as a channel of God’s blessing to care for their elderly parents. These people of God had been taught by the Pharisees not to apply what the bible expects them to do in supporting their parents thru their resources. The Lord Jesus condemned this Pharisees in corrupting the law of Moses in honoring by caring their Parents but made some selfish way by saying they will give to the temple instead of giving to their parents (Mark 7:6-13 “He answered and said unto them, Well hath Esaias prophesied of you hypocrites, as it is written, This people honoureth me with their lips, but their heart is far from me. ⁷Howbeit in vain do they worship me, teaching for doctrines the commandments of men. ⁸For laying aside the commandment of God, ye hold the tradition of men, as the washing of pots and cups: and many other such like things ye do. ⁹And he said unto them, Full well ye reject the commandment of God, that ye may keep your own tradition. ¹⁰For Moses said, Honour thy father and thy mother; and, Whoso curseth father or mother, let him die the death: ¹¹But ye say, If a man shall say to his father or mother, It is Corban, that is to say, a gift, by whatsoever thou mightest be profited by me; he shall be free. ¹²And ye suffer him no more to do ought for his father or his mother; ¹³Making the word of God of none effect through your tradition, which ye have delivered: and many such like things do ye.”).

God designed a beautiful and perfect relationship between parents and children but something horribly wrong happened and it was undeniable and universal. Man falls into sin and separated from God. Then Shalom which means completeness, soundness, welfare, peace had been broken in very deep and irreparable ways. Until God sent His Only Begotten Son, to pay the penalty of sin when Jesus the redeemer died as a substitute for our sin. And when risen and ascended into heaven, He send the Spirit to enlighten and enable both parents and children to have that God given authority and have a Christ-centered family relationship.