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DAVID, THE SELF-PITYING KING 
(MBC - Wednesday PM, September 14, 2022
     
     The last time we studied about the fleshly man Saul, we learned how King Saul chased David weekly and monthly intended and determined to kill David. David had to live the life of a fugitive, hiding in caves and other hiding places to escape of evil intention of Saul. David lives a very difficult and dangerous situation.
     David was an innocent fugitive and not a guilty fugitive. David was not guilty of any crime because he had done nothing wrong (I Samuel 26:18). It would be reasonable for Saul to act with full force to kill David if David had murdered Saul’s son Jonathan or had stolen some precious jewel from Saul’s treasury but David was an innocent man, he had done nothing wrong. David was being chased by Saul without a cause. David was a non-guilty so God protected him from several attempted murder by Saul javelin throw.
     Let us find out what action David did. Whenever King Saul chased David, often David did the right thing to do, by trusting the Lord and kept His eyes on God. Many of the written Psalm of David, we learn that trust God wonderfully. However, there was one occasion when David did the wrong thing when he took his eyes off the Lord so he began feeling sorry for himself. Read I Samuel 27:1 and know the missing word.
I Samuel 27:1 “And David said in his heart, I shall now _perish__ one day by the hand of Saul: there is nothing better for me than that I should speedily escape into the land of the Philistines; and Saul shall despair of me, to seek me any more in any coast of Israel: so shall I escape out of his hand.” The lesson here is that when David took off his eyes on the Lord, he become self-pity man. It is a warning for us that whosoever like David who was all concerned about himself that is why David decided to have hi self-pity. David refused to trust the God who protected him several times in the past would continue to take care of him in the future. Since David allowed himself to have self-pity for a long time so it resulted in much trouble in the life of David. Finally, David got his focus on the Lord, he regained his trust on the Lord and was encouraged once again. Read and complete the verse in I Samuel 30:6 “And David was greatly distressed; for the people spake of stoning him, because the soul of all the people was grieved, every man for his sons and for his daughters: but David __encouraged__ himself in the _Lord__ his God.”
     We are like David; we do what David did for many times. There are times in our lives that we take our eyes off the Lord and stop trusting the hand of the Lord then we start feeling of self-pity. We want to discuss the so-called self-pity:
I – EXPLANATION OF THE WORD PITY
     Many people are asking what is self-pity? The meaning of the word “Pity” is to have compassion, to feel sorrow, to feel for someone, to be concerned, to be sympathetic. That is putting yourself in their situation and to feel what others feel, to be part of their suffering. “Pity” is something that it is good. That is why God wants us to suffer with a person who is suffering and to feel with compassion, sorrow and deep concern with another person.
     The Believer was commanded by God to have Pity in I Peter 3:8
I Peter 3:8 “Finally, be ye all of one mind, having __compassion___ one of another, love as brethren, be _pitiful_, be courteous:”
     God is a God of pity and merciful and compassionate God. Read and fill the missing word in Romans 9:15
Romans 9:15 “For he saith to Moses, I will have _mercy__ on whom I will have mercy, and I will have _compassion__ on whom I will have compassion.”
     Read Matthew 9:36 and know what Jesus moved with when He saw the multitudes? compassion_
Matthew 9:36 “But when he saw the multitudes, he was moved with compassion on them, because they fainted, and were scattered abroad, as sheep having no shepherd."
     Our Saviour Jesus Christ knows what we go through, who always feels what we feel and always sympathizes us whatever sorrows we have. God in heaven pities man on earth. The Lord Jesus our High Priest is touched with the feeling of our infirmities and our weaknesses, because Jesus Christ manifests in the flesh, so He understand all our tears and sorrows and all our griefs. Read Hebrews 4:15 then complete the verse.
Hebrews 4:15 “For we have not an high priest which cannot be touched with the feeling of our infirmities; but was in all points tempted _like_ as __we__ are, yet without sin.”
II – ERRONEOUS KIND OF PITY   
     God wants us to have pity because it is something that is very good. Pity is an emotion given by God. Pity towards others is good, looking for their welfare, that is feeling for them, being concerned for them, and have a compassion for them. However, when pity when pity turned towards self, then pity becomes ugly, sinful and destructive. Pity towards self is feeling sorry for myself and doing nothing to fix what is wrong. Thinking about me and my rights.
     Self-pity started when you take off that compassion, pity, concern and turning it to the wrong way and that is toward self. Pity is something that is good when you should reach out towards others. On the other hand, self-pity is not beneficial, it is not healthy and helpful at all. The believers who turned his pity toward self are believers who always complain what and why God allowed things to happen into their lives.
III – EFFECTS OF SELF-PITY
     The word “self-pity” was not used in the Bible. But the word “Fret” is a word that carries the idea of self-pity. A person who has self-pit is the person who frets. Read Psalm 23:1 then put the words at the blank space.
Psalm 37:1 "_Fret_ not thyself because of evildoers, neither be thou envious against the workers of iniquity."
     The meaning of the word “Fret” is to be angry, to burn up with passion, to feel sorry for oneself. The person has self-pity to the point of being very upset. The word fret can be found in Psalm 37:7-8, Read it and fill the missing word.
Psalm 37:7-8 “Rest in the Lord, and wait patiently for him: __Fret___ not thyself because of him who prospereth in his way, because of the man who bringeth wicked devices to pass. Cease from __anger__, and forsake wrath: __Fret__ not thyself in any wise to do evil.” When a person frets, gets all heated up, burned up, irritated, agitated and disturbed.
     According to Psalm 37:1, God wants us not to do things:
Psalm 37:1 “_Fret_ not thyself because of evildoers, neither be thou _envious_ against the workers of iniquity.”
     The word “to fret” and “to envy” has similar ideas. To “Fret” means to burn up with passion and the word “to envy” means to burn up with jealousy (feeling sorry for oneself because of another’s advantage of prosperity).
IV – ENCOURAGING RIGHT KIND OF PITY
     If there is a wrong kind of pity and sorrow, there is also the right kind of pity and sorrow. Seeking to solve and fix my own problems and reach out to the ills, sufferings, distresses and aches of others.
     The Apostle Paul mentioned two kinds of sorrow in II Corinthians 7:9-10, Read and answer some questions:
II Corinthians 7:9-10 “Now I rejoice, not that ye were made sorry, but that ye sorrowed to repentance: for ye were made sorry after a godly manner, that ye might receive damage by us in nothing. 10 For godly sorrow worketh repentance to salvation not to be repented of: but the sorrow of the world worketh death.”
Which of the two sorrows is the healthy kind of sorrow? ___godly sorrow__
Which of the two sorrows is the unhealthy kind of sorrow? __sorrow of the world___
     There are several results of the right kind of sorrow: It produce myself a better person, it helps myself solve my problem, it produces a genuine repentance. True repentance is a change of mind and change of heart that will lead to a change of life. Now the question what the wrong kind of sorrow which Paul called the sorrow of the world produces according to this verse? __death__.
     Read Matthew 27:3-5 and answer several questions:
Matthew 27:3-5 “Then Judas, which had betrayed him, when he saw that he was condemned, repented himself, and brought again the thirty pieces of silver to the chief priests and elders, Saying, I have sinned in that I have betrayed the innocent blood. And they said, What is that to us? see thou to that. And he cast down the pieces of silver in the temple, and departed, and went and hanged himself.”
Did Judas have repentance or sorrow?  __Yes___
Did Judas have godly sorrow or the right kind of sorrow? __No___
Did Judas really solve his problem? __No___
Did Judas really turn to the Saviour? __No__
Judas felt sorry for himself and does not repent, to the point where he hanged himself to end his life!
Judas have the sorrow of the world that worketh death!
     As we have learned previously regarding the sorrow of Saul after David had spared his life several times.
     Read 1 Samuel 26:21 and answer some questions:
I Samuel 26:21 “Then said Saul, I have sinned: return, my son David: for I will no more do thee harm, because my soul was precious in thine eyes this day: behold, I have played the fool, and have erred exceedingly.”
Did Saul have a godly sorrow? __No___
Did Saul was sorry enough to change his of life? ___No_____
Did Saul have done anything to solve his problem of fret and envy towards David? __No did not__________
Did Saul’s sorrow lead to true repentance or to death? __lead to death___
V – EYE DECEIVING OF SELF-PITY
     Read Psalm 37:1,7 and learn that person is not to fret because of the prosperity of the wicked.
Psalm 37:1,7 “_Fret not thyself because of evildoers, neither be thou envious against the workers of iniquity. Rest in the Lord, and wait patiently for him: _fret   not thyself because of him who prospereth in his way, because of the man who bringeth wicked devices to pass.”
     Listen to what Fretting man is saying, “I have pity for myself because I do my best to live and do the right and trying to obey all God commanded me to do. But I know a person who never care about God but he seems was blessed in every way of his life. That person owned many mansions and many brand-new cars and everything needed. That is unfair, I should be the one God would bless because I am doing everything to live, say, act, think and do right.”
     Read Psalm 37:2 and know what should the Fretting man realize about his neighbor?
Psalm 37:2 “For they shall soon be cut down like the grass, and wither as the green herb.”
     Give the four things that the Fretting man should do instead of fretting?
Psalm 37:3,4,5,7 Trust in the Lord, and do good; so shalt thou dwell in the land, and verily thou shalt be fed. Delight thyself also in the Lord: and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart. Commit thy way unto the Lord; trust also in him; and he shall bring it to pass. Rest in the Lord, and wait patiently for him: fret not thyself because of him who prospereth in his way, because of the man who bringeth wicked devices to pass.”
1. __________________________________________________
2. __________________________________________________
3. __________________________________________________
4. __________________________________________________
     
     Read Psalm 37:9, should Fretting man really feel self-pity? __No__
Psalm 37:9 “For evildoers shall be cut off: but those that wait upon the Lord, they shall inherit the earth.”
     
     Read Psalm 37:10, 13, 17, 20 then know who should the Fretting man really feel pity for? __wicked__
Psalm 37:10, 13, 17, 20 For yet a little while, and the wicked shall not be: yea, thou shalt diligently consider his place, and it shall not be. 13 The Lord shall laugh at him: for he seeth that his day is coming. 17 For the arms of the wicked shall be broken: but the Lord upholdeth the righteous. 20 But the wicked shall perish, and the enemies of the Lord shall be as the fat of lambs: they shall consume; into smoke shall they consume away.”
     Beside Fretting man, we can know another man, Read Psalm 73 to learn about the Envying man.
Psalm 73:3,5,7,12 For I was envious at the foolish, when I saw the prosperity of the wicked. They are not in trouble as other men; neither are they plagued like other men. Their eyes stand out with fatness: they have more than heart could wish. 12 Behold, these are the ungodly, who prosper in the world; they increase in riches.”
     According to these verses, the envying man feel sorry for himself because the wicked are doing so well (verse 3). The envying is saying that he has all kinds of problems but the wicked don’t have problems (verse 5). The envying is thinking that the wicked have more than heart could wish (verse 7), besides the wicked increase in riches while the envying man have problems paying for house rent (verse 12). The envying man really feel so sorry that he cannot be like those wicked who seems have no problems unlike himself.
     This envying man has lot of problems and bitterness with burned up because he deceived himself by thinking and continuously looking to the wicked that are in well condition while himself are doing poorly. The envying always asking why he cannot have those things that the wicked had. However, this deceived mind of self-pity envying man come to an end when something happened.
     The deceived eyes of self-pity caused by looking to the prosperity and riches of the wicked people has come to an end when this envying man saw and understand the real plight of the wicked.
     Read Psalm 73:17 and complete the missing words of the verse.
Psalm 73:17 “Until I went into the _sanctuary__ of God; then understood I their _end__.”
Notice the value of going to the sanctuary of God, worshipping God causes us to understand and have the right view of the reality of life. Now the word “end” refers to that which shall happen to them after.
     When the envying man and fretting man suddenly saw these people from God’s point of view and saw the real final destiny where the wicked were headed, this changed the whole thing. Everything changed when the envying man and fretting man went into the sanctuary of God, he understood the end of the wicked, so instead of having self-pity, he feels sorry now for the wicked.
     Read Psalm 73:18-19 and answer the question:
Psalm 73:18-19 “Surely thou didst set them in slippery places: thou castedst them down into destruction. 19 How are they brought into desolation, as in a moment! they are utterly consumed with terrors.”
     According to this verse, give the reason why the envying man or the fretting man stop pitying himself but started to feel sorry for the wicked? _the wicked will be brought into desolation__ .
VI – EXCUSES OF PERSON WITH SELF-PITY
     Everybody can be a victim of self-pity, even the goldy people can fall into self-pity. As we have studied recently David was a self-pitying man, this was also happened to Moses as we read in Numbers 11:10-15.  
Numbers 11:10-15 “Then Moses heard the people weep throughout their families, every man in the door of his tent: and the anger of the Lord was kindled greatly; Moses also was displeased. 11 And Moses said unto the Lord, Wherefore hast thou afflicted thy servant? and wherefore have I not found favour in thy sight, that thou layest the burden of all this people upon me? 12 Have I conceived all this people? have I begotten them, that thou shouldest say unto me, Carry them in thy bosom, as a nursing father beareth the sucking child, unto the land which thou swarest unto their fathers? 13 Whence should I have flesh to give unto all this people? for they weep unto me, saying, Give us flesh, that we may eat. 14 I am not able to bear all this people alone, because it is too heavy for me. 15 And if thou deal thus with me, kill me, I pray thee, out of hand, if I have found favour in thy sight; and let me not see my wretchedness.”
     It seems that Moses was having in his mind that he bears load that is too great. Moses was telling God that the children of Israel are stubborn and disobedient and unbelieving, so it is hard for himself to handle these people. Moses asking God, how can he handle this kind of hardheaded and hardhearted Israelites who are too much in number!
     According to these verses, Moses was complaining to God. Like Moses, all complainers lost sight of God and saw only the load and the problems.
     As you read Numbers 11:10-15, please answer the question about God’s solution to the problem.
     Did Moses pray for the solution of the problem, or he just reported to God the problem? _______________ .
     In verse 15, Moses, as self-pity man had reached to the point that he asked God to kill him. God have no part in our self-pity problems, God has his own works to accomplish. Do not be like David, do not be like Moses.
VII – ESTIMATED RIGHTS OF SELF-PITY
     The self-pity person focuses on his own personal rights. When you think only about yourself and your own rights that you should have, it is evident that you have self-pity.
     The fretting man or the envying man always think of various rights that he should have: the rights to have health and feel sorry for himself for he is presently sick, the rights for companionship but feel sorry for himself because his friends are not more friendly, the rights to happiness but he feel sorry for himself because most of the time he is so lonely, the rights to be appreciated for the task he has done but he feel himself disappointed because no one notice what he is doing and did not receive any appreciation. Self-pity people only thinks of his personal rights and expects everything that life always favor in his side and works always for his good.
     Enumerate if there are any other rights that you often feel you have:
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________ 
     With all of the personal rights that we have, Jesus has something He wants us to do: 
     Read Luke 9:23 and know what Jesus wants us to do and complete the verse.
Luke 9:23 “And he said to them all, If any man will come after me, let him _deny__ himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me.” 
Jesus is saying we have to say “no” to self and say “no” to our personal rights. We need to learn to deny our rights.
     Read Luke 9:24, Jesus is teaching how to lose and gain rights. Complete the blank space.
Luke 9:24 “For whosoever will save his life shall _lose__ it: but whosoever will lose his life for my sake, the same shall _save__ it.”  
Jesus is saying that if you want true rights then you must lose your rights. If you insist on claiming your rights, then you will lose your rights. Jesus is saying if you lose your rights, you will gain them. God knows what is good and best for each of us more than we know, then we must not forget that “God has every right over us, and we must let God do whatever, however and whenever.”  
     What will you do when you want overrides or much important to you than what God wants? What happens when you reject what God wants for you and you choose your own rights instead? Listen, if you feel that what God says and what God wants interferes with your rights or what you want and what you choose, then you are in trouble. You think wrongly, you only think of your own personal rights. By then, you are going to have a continual problem with self-pity. You need to realize that if self-pity is not dealt with or not solved then it will always lead to downhill to deeper and deeper sin (anger, envy, depressions, fear and worry). When you have anxiety that is you feel sorry for yourself in advance.
     What is the solution for self-pity? What is God’s answer to self-pity? Read Philippians 4:6 and compare that to what David did in I Samuel 30:6.
Philippians 4:6 “Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.”
I Samuel 30:6 “And David was greatly distressed; for the people spake of stoning him, because the soul of all the people was grieved, every man for his sons and for his daughters: but David encouraged himself in the Lord his God.
     The Bible teaches us what to do if you feel self-pity. God answer to self-pity is sincerely and continually focused on God and His Word; trust God’s plan is better than you. Always have a mind like Christ. When you have problems always bring your requests unto God (Philippians 4:6).
Is this what David did? (I Samuel 30:6) _________________ .
Did all your requests made known unto God? ___________ .
Should you encourage yourself in the Lord your God, like David? ________________ .